Monday Blahs?
For most of my early post-college working life, Mondays were such a strain. It was hard to get back into the swing of doing something I felt stifled by after spending a weekend doing only what I wanted (mostly). And the “threat” of Monday morning always made Sunday evenings seem a little desperate, as if I needed to pack them so full of comfort that my heart had sufficient padding to head back into a tough and depleting environment. Yeah, my first “real” job was great (”real” job is what everyone seemed to refer to my first corporate job as — as if what I had been doing since I was 14 years old hadn’t been work…). Of course, the terrifying nature of Mondays was not new to me.
My school years were much like this as well. Often times on Sunday evening I was so anxious about having to go back to school I would make myself sick. And I would plead with my mother to keep me home the next day. Only occasionally would that tactic work. Most often, she would send me anyway (single working mother + lack of babysitter = no option to stay home), despite any imagined or anxiety induced illnesses. School for me was brutal. Kids are cruel and I was sensitive. Enough said.
Over the last few years, I have really worked to make the world less exhausting and as a wonderful benefit to that work, Sundays have seriously ceased to hold the same manic quest for solace and have become more like just another day. They got even better when I started working for a company that I liked, doing something I enjoy. And now that I’m working at home and for myself, well, everyday is a potential work day. So the Monday Blahs don’t tend to make an appearance, though the ingrained response sometimes likes to suggest itself to me.
So, this morning as I was sitting down to type and my mind said, “Uggh. It’s Monday, you have to work today.” A few other plaintive voices chimed in, “Yes, that’s tough. Life is so hard.” My true voice, the one I am only recently discovering (thank you therapy), and the one that always rings clear like a bell, simply laughed. Not in mockery or contempt. Not in derision, just a laugh. Pure joy. Pure amusement. And all the other voices metaphorically looked around and sort of gave a half shrug and started laughing too. With one sweep, the cobwebs of Mondays past were swept away — a quick mental tidy courtesy of laughter.
Anyway, much knitting was accomplished this weekend. The first ridiculous attempt at the pointy toe was tackled and, well, I think it needs a little work since it doesn’t so much resemble a pointy toe as it does a hideous growth…
I am proud of myself for working it all the way to its inevitable grotesque conclusion, even though I knew fairly quickly that it wasn’t going to work, because seeing what went wrong is exactly what I needed in order to make some alterations. Here it is in its entirety — feel free to point and laugh.
By Saturday night I wasn’t up to attempting another go at it, so I cast on for the second slipper just to have some relatively mindless knitting to work with while watching more Olympics. After having claimed a loss of interest several days ago, I have gone on to spend countless hours watching the coverage and have taken up many minutes of my sweetie’s life with my detailed explanations of what happened, who won, who made idiotic mistakes and lost and what emotional events have taken place. Even though he really doesn’t care for the Olympics, he is such a dear and asks me everyday, “So, what is happening on the Olympics?” and then proceeds to listen attentively as I regale him with my own personal commentary. I have a kind and considerate sweetie.
February 20th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Rachel - It looks like a pointy toe to me! But I am not a knitter. I’m really chiming in to agree with what you wrote about the Monday blahs. As a recent early retiree, I still find myself “hating” Monday mornings even though I no longer “have” to go to work. It is all a matter of perception.
The second word in your subhead is ‘tea’. Have you ever had Ahmad’s ‘English #1′? My favourite.
Are you on track for a medal in the knitting olympics? Best Wishes, R
February 20th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
I suppose it does look a little pointy in the picture, but if you could see it in person, I think you’d have a really good laugh. It has these little weird bulges on the side that make it look more like a tulip bulb than anything.
I have not had Ahmad’s English #1, but I will certainly have to give it a go now that I have such a great recommendation. I try to keep my caffeine intake down, so I tend to drink a lot of herbal teas. My favorite is so boring — plain old peppermint. However, when I am feeling especially decadent, I will brew myself a whole pot of Rooibus (red tea) made with loose leaves, and then I toss in a couple of lavendar blossoms for an extra bit of flavor. Mmmmmm.
I hope I’m on track for a medal! It all depends on how things progress through the next experiment with the toe. If that goes well, then I will definitely make it. If it doesn’t… Well, it could be a long week with some late nights
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:21 am
Peppermint is my favorite too. Ginger is nice and recently I discovered a chamomile/lavender blend that I like a lot, at (shame) Barnes & Noble (shame b/c chain store, although in my defense I purchase a lot more tea there than anything else).
You do have a wonderful sweetie.
And yay for your true voice & therapy. And thank you for wonderful comments on my blog about the whole Dad thing… sincerely, thank you.
The main reason I clicked in to comment, however, is just to note that kids do not have to be cruel. Teachers are often cruel, and when they’re not being cruel themselves, they too often allow kids to be cruel. And parents & others too often accept it as “that’s how it is.” But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I did one student teaching stint in a school that’s vehemently anti-teasing, anti-harassment, etc. and guess what… kids aren’t nearly as cruel there as they are elsewhere.
Furthermore, kids can be taught how to be kind, supportive, sympathetic, etc. They don’t “come that way,” they have to be taught the same way they have to be taught multiplication tables. But it can be done. Too bad that’s not a priority in school… oh, right, because to do that, the teachers would have to be kind, supportive, etc. and that’s definitely too much to ask.
Excuse the bitterness. I have never gotten over the shock and disappointment at discovering, thirteen years ago, that a good number of people become teachers because being in a room totally unsupervised with a bunch of people who are smaller than you and whose word will never be believed over yours is an excellent setup for malicious, controlling, sadistic pricks (and, what, prickettes?).
But I’m glad that Mondays are losing their bite for you. I used to work myself up into tears every Sunday, too.
Happy Wednesday.
February 22nd, 2006 at 8:03 am
You know, I love Ginger tea too. It is so spicy and yummy and it just leaves me feeling clean on the inside. I also just bought a Chamomile/Lavender blend. I thought it would be nice and relaxing to sip a cup of it in bed with a book before drifting off to sleep. Turns out it is indeed.
Good point about children and their behavior. I am a firm believer that most everything boils down to the learning of skills. And how can we expect children to socialize in a kind, sympathetic and supportive manner if we do not give them the skills to do so? The statement “children are cruel” is an oversimplification of a wide scale problem. And, as I reflect on it, it sounds a little akin to saying something like, “Boys will be boys…” Or, like someone saying that part of their personality is to be mean and awful so you just have to accept it (Yes, believe it or not, someone has actually told me that. Worse, I accepted it for far, far too long).
School, of course, is one way to impart those skills, but there is so much pressure on teachers to work miracles. In truth, many of them are miracle workers. I myself have been at the receiving end of many teacher-worked miracles. However, I can’t help but ask how they are supposed to do this when all that work is not reinforced at home?
I like the idea of school-wide initiatives and pursuits — it creates a philosophy about your educational environment and provides kids, teachers and administrators with a common vocabulary and a story to tell about the place where they spend a significant portion of the day. Also, involving the parents in that initiative and having the kids bring home what they know and affecting further change has a lot of appeal…
If only…