Googlocity
Over on Birdfarm’s blog, she posted a fun new exercise in googling in which you type in “(your name) needs” and then list out the results. I imagine we will be seeing this all over the blogging world before long, thought I’d jump on the bandwagon now.
1. Rachel needs to have blush that is very bright and colorful.
Of course I do, especially later when I hit the streets with my transvestite hooker friends to solve a murder in Manhattan…
2. Rachel needs £5000.
It is not even funny how true that is.
3. Rachel needs help when she enters Manhattan’s meat-packing district to help
three transvestite hookers find out who murdered one of their friends.
Told you I was going to need that blush.
4. Rachel needs guidance and normal supervision.
But really, don’t we all?
5. Rachel needs help with a question on “Value Laddering” - I have no idea what this is, and no time to research it… but since she has been so refreshingly open and honest in her request for help, I’ll throw a couple thousand points her way…
This was from MarketingProfs.com (I refuse to turn that into a link) And is exactly the kind of blather I have come to expect from both Marketing Professors and Professionals after (please, please tell me it has not really been 5 years) my stint in that world. It is such a style over substance message along the lines of, “Way to go Rachel, you asked a good question! Of course, we don’t have time to do any actual thinking, but you should get an A just for asking!” Yeah, whatever. By the way, I realize I am taking this isolated statement completely out of context, but I honestly don’t care enough to discover the context or spend anymore time than I did on MarketingProfs.
6. Rachel needs to clearly reflect that view.
What view? Give me a view and I can reflect it. I really, really can.
7. Rachel needs your help.
Yes. Yes, I do.
8. Rachel needs time to chill out.
If you say so. Hey, maybe I should take the day off work. You know, to chill out.
9. Rachel needs my constant attention and help.
Damn, am I needy or what?
10. Rachel needs and wants, and provides it.
This one was from knitty.com — what are the odds? I don’t know what “it” is, but I’m sure as hell going to find out.
I also need other things that I am too polite to publish here and also, apparantly, I am greatly in need of prayers, because that just comes up again and again. I also need to be responsible for my own behavior (really? are you sure?)
October 18th, 2005 at 10:36 am
Hilarious. I did this “me me” and didn’t get a whole lot on my list, but laughed at the ones I did get. Thanks for sharing yours — your narrative was great!
October 19th, 2005 at 1:32 pm
**snerk** This is too good to resist. Here’s what I got.
“Kari needs to win the lottery”
This was the #1 result, and if the Universe is listening: uh, YEAH, let’s get on that!
“Kari needs to learn how to drive a car at night”
‘Scuse me? I’m a very good driver. Dad lets me drive the car. Definitely, definitely a very good driver.
“Kari needs help with her fashion”
It ain’t fashion, bitches, it’s STYLE.
“Kari gradually lays bare the fantasies of a serial killer”
Um, creepy. I never touched those fantasies, I swear. They were laid bare when I got here!
“Kari needs to prevent her-self from going under”
I see how it’s all up to me. Rachel got prayers and calls for help and all I get is ‘Suck it up, Kari-girl!” Unless that lottery thing comes through. Then we is ALL sittin’ pretty.
“Kari needs a Line Cook and Expediter”
No fuck! Mine’s hitting the road for a 5-week stint starting tomorrow, and we all know what a misery I am in the kitchen.
“Kari needs to go run a business someday, perhaps a flower shop”
She sure does! But think more “tea and yarn” than flowers.
October 20th, 2005 at 10:57 pm
wow, a link to me an’ everything. haven’t been by in a while; obviously that was a mistake, because this post made me laugh really hard (in Loopy’s ear, which she did not appreciate; of course I blamed you, hope you don’t mind–it’s not like there’ll be consequences). Seriously tho, let me know how that meatpacking transvestite stuff goes for ya.
i gotta bookmark you so i don’t just come here via franklin’s blog periodically……..
October 24th, 2005 at 9:01 am
I, too, couldn’t resist joining in!
January 14th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I happened upon this old post while trying to verify that Ms. VK’s name is in fact Rachel… it is definitely the only laugh-out-loud meme post I’ve ever seen.
I’m commenting b/c I moved my blog & the link above is dead; here is the link now (not that I mean to flatter myself with the idea that anyone cares, but, you know, just tidying up…).