the Village Knittiot

Today I applied for a job that I would be perfect for. I have the perfect experience. The perfect skills. I perfectly meet the requirements. And it is the perfect pay range. It even has the perfect hours.

I faxed my resume over about 20 minutes ago and my heart feels like it is going to pound out of my chest. I am imagining all sorts of scenarios in which I walk into the office of Satan’s Incompetant Minion (aka my boss) and give him one of the hundred or so speeches I have been composing in my head every day for the last 5 months. Each imagined moment of triumph always ends the same way — walking out of this building with a box of my belongings and a light heart.

The more sinister half of my heart is whispering things about disappointment, and the inevitability of not even being called in for an interview. He is telling me that things don’t work like that. You never get what you want. The whole system is designed to screw you. Good jobs that pay well are not for people like you. Things like that don’t happen for people like you. He’s a real downer.

Just once, I would like to hear an enthusiastic YES! instead of the discouraging no’s and confusing silence that seem to have punctuated my daily activities lately. Just one stroke of luck. One break. One door cracked open instead of slammed shut. Hell, I’d crawl in through the god damned window if someone would leave one open. Until then, I’m waiting… waiting for one perfect day to cancel out all the perfect disappointments.

Under the Weather is my favorite expression to describe “being sick.” It has so much character and is both subtle and polite. It conveys a specific kind of unwell. And today, it is the perfect description for how I am feeling. I am most definitely Under the Weather.

Not only am I Under the Weather, but I also have a meeting at 3:00 this afternoon with someone from the Grad School where I am applying to work towards my teaching certificate. I would much rather have this meeting when I am feeling less Out of Sorts (another good description) but I am also anxious to get things in motion. The quicker I am in school, the sooner I can stop feeling like I work for the Devil’s incompetant minion.

I know I said no more pictures of Rogue until she was done. Well, the knitting is done, she just isn’t put together. So, here are some pictures of an Almost Done Rogue, which is very much like an Undone Rogue, though not exactly. This is also probably the truest color I’ve managed to capture yet. Took it during the 12 seconds of actual sunshine we’ve had so far today.

And since there is nothing like feeling Under the Weather to get you laying on the couch with energy for nothing except knitting, I cast on for these socks yesterday. I’m already heading into the heel. Gotta love socks — quick, pretty, interesting and portable.

Okay, I’m going to go drag myself to that meeting now. But first, I’m going to go take Ibuprofen. Uggh.